Gossip, Triggers and Speaking Our Truth

Some of you go along to get along with information about someone or something that you don’t actually know is truth. I see it all the time. Folks sharing their version of things from their  perspective can most often be misleading.

Even though someone looks important, if they are only sharing from their perspective and you are going along without knowing the other side or having another perspective, it leads to gossip, unnecessary hurting and separation.

Those who are authentic are not telling things on each other. They are striving for deeper connections, to show up better for each other. They are speaking with truth and open to hear it!! If you want to raise your vibration, ask questions. Don’t go along to get along. Work towards being more uplifting , supportive, and be a light for people.

I’m seeing too many people even those highly respected in our community sharing their perspective from their experiences and these things are just not fully accurate.

If you see someone doing this, first forgive them, this is their trauma at work, second tell them it’s not okay. Let’s start a movement and start speaking up!

Being intuitive, I see more than I let on and I am so guilty of allowing others to say things that just weren’t accurate without standing up for myself or my reputation because I didn’t feel the need to pull myself down to that vibration. I now regret that. I’ve been called horrible things and I’ve laid in bed for days, depressed, crying because I didn’t have the proper words and personal power to stand up for myself. We never know how what you say can affect someone.

I’m certain my words have not landed the way I've intended at times. Words are misconstrued. I’ve hurt people I love by saying things without having the proper knowing of their triggers and they have done the same to me.

Their triggers my triggers.. ugh it’s a cycle right!? I greatly apologize to anyone I’ve inadvertently hurt by speaking my truth during my time of need. We are all going through something. We are all sensitive. As children, we were shown that telling little white lies (like good old Santa) is okay as long as it benefited someone.  Some lies are much worse than that, but just being taught that the lie alone is acceptable, is enough to distort perceptions as adults.

We often jump to conclusions and speak too soon. Doing this can carry a lifetime of pain for someone when what you are saying isn’t true. Gossip is never helpful, I see it. I feel it. I know I’ve done it without knowing it. It is my goal to reconnect, reconcile, be genuine, show up with love. Let go of guilt, shame and the need to not be mistaken.

As the layers of my old self shed, I see through my past conditioning,

I hope to bring more of this to light so that we can connect on our sensitivities, while speaking our truths, knowing that the feelings that we have are shared amongst us. We are all going through it.

Personally, I’m tired of arguing and I’m tired of avoiding arguing and I’m tired of seeing everyone lose important connections. The truth is, you’re not right, they are not right, I’m not right, we’re all wrong, (LOL) but we're in this together. Our triggers tell our story and should be acknowledged without guilt and shame. See them with gratitude because they are trying to protect you and watch them slowly dissolve piece by piece.

We’ve all been crafting stories, seeing through our own personal lenses by which your own unique life path has mad.  We do this to protect our hearts from more hurt and our egos from disappointments . We all need and want love and connection but we’ve went too far and we don’t know how to come back to love. I want to change that energy around me.

I am cultivating a community of authentic Non-judgmental humans to support one another.

What Happens in your Vegus Nerve Stays

Emotional and psychological trauma stored in the body causes inflammation. It's like surviving a car accident and ignoring your broken ribs and cracked skull.  From the inside, trauma and emotional stress destroy your health. It shows up as disease.

The vagus nerve is the highway of information from gut to brain. If the gut is weakened then the communication to the brain is compromised.  Chronic stress alters the microbial load and vagal signals through the cranial nerve.  The vagus nerve creates production of chemicals like serotonin and GABA in the brain, decreases inflammation, and promotes healing. When trauma and emotional wounds weaken the gut it ultimately affects our entire system.  Yoga and breath work can stimulate our vagus nerve to send a message to our bodies that it's time to relax and de-stress, which leads to long-term improvements in mood, pain management.

I'm not going to be the teacher that tells "you should think and be happy all the time."  Telling people to ignore those bad feelings is telling them to ignore who they are, what they are made of.

In my own healing, I’ve learned to find these emotions in my body, heal old trauma and take control of disease. I've also awakened compassion, love and a new understanding for others.  It's so important to not neglect every emotion that comes up. Welcome them. Let them sit with you. Talk to them. Ask them, what do you need from me? Make sure you accept your parts and not just the shiny happy ones. I’m a huge fan of being open compassionate telling it like it is!

I’m being called to show up for you in a whole new way.  Letting go of committing to MindBody, ClassPass and employing other teachers which will allow me to grow more spiritually and show up in a whole new way for my people. This transition will allow me to focus more on what I have to offer as a individual healer instead of being a yoga studio owner.

I’ll still be teaching regular weekly classes with class packages and we will make sure you have all the necessary links to get started. I’m incredibly excited to do this in a new way.

You see…..

I didn’t fully understand what opening a yoga studio was going to do to my yoga practice.  It has cracked me open and healed me in ways I didn’t understand.. I’ve learned to forgive myself for what I didn’t know.

This may look like a phase of things falling apart but it’s really creating a new space for new things to come together. I’m looking forward to the days ahead with eagerness and excitement to see what’s coming next.  My healing is now allowing me to share this healing with those who want to walk this path with me, being a fearless guide and supportive presence! I want to hold space with love, compassion and strength. I’m here for it. All of it! The good, the bad and whatever! It is my joy and honor to be able to share my tools and wisdom with you during the process as I heal myself and guide others to do their own healing. Together as a collective using love, honesty, openness and compassion,  we can move toward our natural state, align with our true selves and learn to live our best lives.

You are the one you’ve been waiting for and I’m honored to be a guide.

Stop Searching, Start Attracting

Of all the lessons this one stands out for sure.

I thought opening a yoga business was going to be easy and bring everyone together, yet I experienced competition and division. Each time a teacher would leave or a student wouldn’t come back for class, it would trigger my abandonment trauma.  Was I attracting my own vibe?

I don’t know many people who could’ve persevered through what I’ve been through.

The pandemic led to losing my studio location, losing members and teachers that I love. Many classes fell to zero or just a few students who showed up. There were months where I pulled money from the mortgage of my home to pay my bills to support this business. I’m still standing, I’m still here, I’m still holding space for you.

Initially, I was not able to fully understand how traumas affected me and how they were steering my life.

Let’s get to know the REAL me,

I’ve survived:

  • Abandonment trauma
  • Ongoing Childhood Verbal abuse
  • Extended Childhood sexual abuse
  • Rape
  • Attempted suicide
  • I was strangled and beaten by my ex-husband
  • Sexual betrayal
  • Drugs Alcohol and Rx drugs to numb the pain
  • Severe Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Scattered focus
  • Memory loss
  • Anger
  • Barrett’s disease
  • CPTSD (Chronic post traumatic stress disorder) — is a condition where you experience some symptoms of PTSD along with some additional symptoms, such as: difficulty controlling your emotions,, feeling very angry or distrustful towards the world.

To be crystal clear, it’s day by day. I have to put in the work. Triggers can come from anywhere. Managing them is my responsibility. Yoga has given me the tools to do that.

I don’t think we should hide our traumas. I don’t think we should celebrate them for attention either, but I think publicly acknowledging them so that people understand who we are will open a path for others to heal as well. Survivors of trauma gain emotional intelligence because they see through society's expectation to be happy and secure all the time.  Allow each individual to be themselves, to rise above what’s going on in their mind and open your heart with acceptance.  Don’t shut out people who are going through a hard time.  Reach out and ask what you can do. Hold their hand.  Offer them a shoulder.  We should experience all emotions the good the bad that’s balance. That’s being human.  Mental health needs to be talked about just like physical health.

My gift - healing ❤️‍🩹

My purpose - to open a path for others

Meditation and yoga has allowed me to be aware of my body so that I can help myself before spiraling into trauma reactions.  It starts with morning rituals, daily pep talks, and mindfulness.

Doing yoga with practice, you become free and brave enough to develop to your full potential. You’ll get to learn many new versions of yourself along the way.  It’s been life changing to find this new way of living: a daily practice of meditation and an increased appreciation for the beauty in life.  A deeper more grounded self-respect that isn’t contingent on other people.

By beginning a meditation practice just five minutes a day, you’ll open yourself to attract more joy, resilience and flow in your life.

 

How To Get Started in Yoga?

How do I get started with yoga? That’s been the most common question I’ve received as a yoga instructor. My best answer is to: "Put yoga on your schedule and say no to everything else."
Much like nature, we are supposed to be evolving.
Whether you’re already a yoga teacher, an aspiring yogi or just yoga curious, you've come here because you’re ready for something new.
Claim it!! Allow yourself to take up space in your life with yoga. We only get one life and you have to choose what to do with it.
What class is best for you?
Let’s talk truth!!
It’s difficult to be honest and truthful about what we want when we act through others lens and perspectives.  I encourage everyone to live in truth. I also encourage others to stop taking things so personally and let go of fears and insecurities.  This is what prevents people from doing what they want to do. Explore different ways of seeing things and seeing others' perspective. That’s why I always recommend getting a variety of yoga classes and the reason I don’t like to teach the same class twice. I enjoy taking different perspectives and teaching the same pose in different ways. It allows your body and mind to open up and enjoy a new way of thinking. Take different classes, try new things. Find what resonates with you.
Samkaras are deep grooves within our subconscious mind that put us on autopilot. You could say it’s the awareness or paths in the brain that often lead you to decisions and reactions that you regret or keep you from evolving.  I’ve witnessed a lot of humans have the tendency to reach only for the things that bring instant joy and satisfaction. This means sometimes missing out on a deeper connection and growth. Getting on the mat, and moving your body in ways that you might not enjoy helps create new brain pathways, often referred to as enlightenment.
Getting started is the hardest part and then there will be days you have to remind yourself of your goals.
Even after opening Salty Souls Yoga, there have been days that I didn’t feel like showing up on my mat.   I can recall not following the teachers instructions because my mind was so scattered. Life can be complicated, but the more I did yoga and meditation , the more my mind cleared, my memory sharpened, my body got stronger and all I had to do was keep showing up. If you put yoga and meditation on your schedule and said no to everything else,  your life will transform with your practice.

Letting Go of Expectations 

As a yoga teacher, I think our role is to keep doing the work, to be honest, trustworthy, hold space for our students and ourselves. I believe teachers should not become so enlightened that they no longer publicly acknowledge their struggles. By opening up about who we truly are, we can provide a path for those who are ready.

I will strive to hold myself to higher standards, to be held accountable for my own healing and showing up with you. Yoga will not prevent challenges in life, one moment it can be calm and the next chaos. It will cultivate inner peace and self love. Yoga with practice will prepare you to navigate challenges and you begin to create opportunities rather than being the victim.

Whether you sweat it out in a power class or hold still in Yin, your class practice becomes an extension or expression of who you are. Each visit to your mat becomes a mirror to how you show up in your own life. We come to the mat to feel strong and flexible, to find a sense of balance, or peace to explore something new about ourselves. It doesn’t matter what brings you to the mat: physical body, mental body, flexibility, the relationship with yourself…. The change will come with it. You’ll notice that you begin to gain strength & grace, even overcoming self-doubt.

We all have a spark within which sometimes we need a little help uncovering so we can shine. When I began teaching yoga, I didn’t know who I was going to be or how I was going to do it. Even putting on the outfit before I went into the studio was a challenge for me. It took a time for this latest version of me to emerge and I love her and I know this evolution of my soul isnt over yet. But for now, I feel beautiful, I have found a balance in who I am becoming. I still enjoy a little mascara, a glass of wine from time to time and cute shoes, and I hope to never give that up.

I promise that you can build a beautiful life for yourself right where you are. By tuning into your body, you become the mastery of your own experiences rather than reacting to them. The stories I hear from students first hand, is what inspires me to want to help others become more self aware, open up to self inquiry, self assessment, and a new found deep connection with oneself. I know from my own personal experience that practicing yoga will offer a clearer understanding of what motivates you and what are your strengths and weakness.

Yoga has allowed me to still my mind, open my heart and see clearly. My hope is by opening up you’ll see the difference yoga has made in my life and consider joining me.

Where My Yoga Journey Began…

Photo — Circa 2015 This girl did not love herself!!

When this photo was taken, I hadn't been to a yoga class in 5 years! I wasn’t my best self. I was busy growing a successful real estate career, building our family home, saving my marriage and being a mom the best way I knew how. Until I found myself out of alignment and crashing from adrenal fatigue. I hit rock bottom. That is my journey to rediscovering yoga.

Convinced I was building my ideal future, not knowing trauma was steering the wheel, I propelled forward the only way I knew how. It was one thing after another and I didnt have the tools to manage them. I was not eating the foods my body needed, used booze and aspirin to make me feel better, didn’t think I could meditate, spent a lot of time stressing about the things I couldn’t control, shopping to satisfy a hunger for love and attention that I had never received, lonely and unsatisfied.

Yoga saved me! I immersed myself fully. Meditation began to shift my perceptions. I began noticing how certain foods affected my mood and body. I began to control my emotions in a healthy way, my hormones balanced and my intuition grew sharper. Yoga allowed me to re-discover so many amazing things about myself.

I’ve shed so many layers of old conditioning. I now eat what makes me feel alive instead of craving foods that only fed my imbalances. I no longer count calories and I’m the size nature intended bc I put into my body what it needs. Not only has yoga transformed my physical world it has turned my mental world into a garden of self love and healthier habits. I slowly began to notice the things that affected me negatively, behaviors and beliefs that didn’t serve me began to dissolve. Breaking these cycles didn't happen all at once. Yoga was and still is a practice. I show up and do the work. I gave myself permission to let go of unhealthy expectations, own my own shit and set healthier boundaries.  Yoga became the new vehicle but this time I was behind the steering wheel. As my intuition became stronger, I could see the curves on the road before they appear and accurately navigate the road.

Opening a studio with all its many challenges ironically helped me navigate through the phases of my own healing. I love myself and I understand what it feels like to feel that love from others. Not easy, but worth it they say, I know every sacrifice will come back to me times three. This path isn't for the faint at heart and I still wouldn’t change a thing.  I feel not only guided but incredibly supported on this path. Not by humans but spirit/God/universe. Whatever you call it, it doesn't matter, the point is MY back is covered.

Trauma has been shaping our lives for centuries and I think we are the generation to change that! It’s time to take care of our mental health!!  Although Yoga lessens pain, stress and makes you feel pretty amazing, it traditionally has been a path to heighten consciousness and enlightenment. I enjoy incorporating mediation and spiritual practices into each class.

If my story resonates with you and you would like to explore how to access a deeper connection with yourself, heal from the things we couldn’t control, or become a better stronger version of who you are now, I hope you will allow me to be your guide.  My mission is to empower aspiring yogis to develop ways to keep practicing. There is no magic button to push to become a perfect yogi. It takes practice, you have to do the work and be consistent.