Of all the lessons this one stands out for sure.
I thought opening a yoga business was going to be easy and bring everyone together, yet I experienced competition and division. Each time a teacher would leave or a student wouldn’t come back for class, it would trigger my abandonment trauma. Was I attracting my own vibe?
I don’t know many people who could’ve persevered through what I’ve been through.
The pandemic led to losing my studio location, losing members and teachers that I love. Many classes fell to zero or just a few students who showed up. There were months where I pulled money from the mortgage of my home to pay my bills to support this business. I’m still standing, I’m still here, I’m still holding space for you.
Initially, I was not able to fully understand how traumas affected me and how they were steering my life.
Let’s get to know the REAL me,
- Abandonment trauma
- Ongoing Childhood Verbal abuse
- Extended Childhood sexual abuse
- Attempted suicide
- I was strangled and beaten by my ex-husband
- Sexual betrayal
- Drugs Alcohol and Rx drugs to numb the pain
- Severe Depression
- Scattered focus
- Memory loss
- Barrett’s disease
- CPTSD (Chronic post traumatic stress disorder) — is a condition where you experience some symptoms of PTSD along with some additional symptoms, such as: difficulty controlling your emotions,, feeling very angry or distrustful towards the world.
To be crystal clear, it’s day by day. I have to put in the work. Triggers can come from anywhere. Managing them is my responsibility. Yoga has given me the tools to do that.
I don’t think we should hide our traumas. I don’t think we should celebrate them for attention either, but I think publicly acknowledging them so that people understand who we are will open a path for others to heal as well. Survivors of trauma gain emotional intelligence because they see through society's expectation to be happy and secure all the time. Allow each individual to be themselves, to rise above what’s going on in their mind and open your heart with acceptance. Don’t shut out people who are going through a hard time. Reach out and ask what you can do. Hold their hand. Offer them a shoulder. We should experience all emotions the good the bad that’s balance. That’s being human. Mental health needs to be talked about just like physical health.
My gift - healing
My purpose - to open a path for others
Meditation and yoga has allowed me to be aware of my body so that I can help myself before spiraling into trauma reactions. It starts with morning rituals, daily pep talks, and mindfulness.
Doing yoga with practice, you become free and brave enough to develop to your full potential. You’ll get to learn many new versions of yourself along the way. It’s been life changing to find this new way of living: a daily practice of meditation and an increased appreciation for the beauty in life. A deeper more grounded self-respect that isn’t contingent on other people.
By beginning a meditation practice just five minutes a day, you’ll open yourself to attract more joy, resilience and flow in your life.